WHAT I’VE LEARNED FROM PUTTING MY ASS ON INSTAGRAM: PART I

When you put your butt on Instagram with no clothes on it, funny things happen.

Old friends call you frantic, out of the blue, to tell you your account has been hacked. People offer unsolicited advice about how to present your ass better. You get sent dick pics (not funny but not unexpected).

I’ve even had an enquiry about being booked in a music video.

Five weeks ago I wrote about my decision to do a social experiment seeing whether I could become an Instagram model. I started an account called Juicy.Diamondz and populated it with ass pics. And while I may not yet be signed to a modeling agency and have not yet been approached by Fashion Nova or Flat Tummy Tea, I’ve had some very interesting messages.

Some friends stumbled upon Juicy.Diamondz without knowing it was an experiment and messaged me, shocked. I don’t know how many stumbled upon the account, were shocked, and didn’t say anything. Hopefully they get to read this post.

Others offered help and support. Money to advertise Juicy.Diamondz on Instagram. Assistance with photoshoots. One person who is in artist management offered to represent the account. 

And while my objective was to prove how easy it is for any regular girl to be an Instagram model, what I really learned is that when you put yourself out there, people open themselves up to you. They help, they support, they confide.

Oh, and I totally disproved my theory. It’s goddamn hard to be an Instagram model.

Here’s why it was hard for me.

PERFORMANCE ANXIETY

After writing the article announcing the goal and the account, it took me two weeks to populate it with six photographs. I’m not used to posing for photos. I’m pretty shy about my body. Putting your ass on the Internet is a major move for those thinking about their futures. Are there any situations where I might not want my butt in the public domain? I thought long and hard before deciding, no, it’s fine. I want to do the experiment for BadPress (which at its core believes in living life without shame). I can’t picture a future I’d want where the fact that my bottom had been on the Internet for a social experiment was a problem.

GOING PUBLIC

Taking the account from private to public came with a whole other host of problems. Despite the above, there’s still a bunch of ‘sensitive’ people on Instagram who would now risk seeing my ass. I felt for THEM more than for me. Picture this: you’re scrolling through your ‘Explore’ feed and you see your boss’s sexy butt pics account. Depending on who your boss is it may not be pleasant. But hey — you don’t have to follow them.

My push came from a friend demanding to know what was happening with Juicy.Diamondz. “Do it!!!’ she said. “You have to be committed, you have to be in it to win it.” She was right. I couldn’t fly Juicy.Diamondz at half mast, hoping some wouldn’t see it. Options > Privacy > Make account public.

WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK

Being an Instagram model is very labor-intensive. You have to have content, ideally every day. This means regular photo shoots: dressing up, posing, finding out your best angles or simply any angle where you don’t look like shit because you’re not, in fact, a model. You’re just an average girl.

To be honest, I couldn’t be bothered a lot of the time. I think I’m wearing makeup in about two of my photos. That’s what filters are for, right? On top of that you should be interacting with people to promote your page. Liking stuff, commenting, hashtagging. Bleurgh. It’s honestly a full-time fucking job.

Screen Shot 2017-11-30 at 10.09.45 pm
You may find that people are into the body parts that you’re not so fond of ^^

GETTING FOLLOWERS

I bought a bunch of followers to start out. You need capital to earn, right? For anyone who hasn’t bought followers before, it’s really cheap (as little as $7 for 1000).

But anyone with half a brain could work out they’re not real. If someone has 10,000 followers but they only get a handful of likes on each post they’re probably paid fans.

Adding the Juicy.Diamondz account to my Tinder did garner a few followers, but probably wasn’t sending quite the right message to the potential suitors, considering they didn’t know it was a social experiment.

I hit on a genius technique about four weeks in, though. I would find similar accounts to mine on Instagram (everyday girls with butt pics), and then followed everyone who liked their photos. It’s a little parasitic and a little like targeted marketing: ‘we saw you liked that, so we thought you might be interested in this’. At the end of the week, I would unfollow everyone who hadn’t followed me back.

Turns out it works a charm. In days I saw my followers double. As of right now JD — as she is affectionately known in my inner circle — has 718 followers. I’d say about a third of those were purchased. 

So that’s that. Five weeks in and sadly I’m not an Instagram star, but I’m also not going to throw in the towel just yet. In fact we’re currently planning a Juicy.Diamondz Christmas calendar. For orders, comment below 😉

xoxo Juicy.Diamondz

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